がんばって!!!

Okay, there are something better to do other than missing someone I shouldn't.

It's a brand new week already, and like I have promised, I will start on my assignments.

And, since next week will be the Mid-Sem Exam, it also means I'll use my time to revise the boring Malaysian Studies and the interesting Moral Studies... Plus. Bahasa Kebangasaan A... Damn... 3 exams in 3 days...

Hahaha... good oso... Will make myself busy... So that I won't think other unnecessary things... hohoho... XD

First, do my Malaysian Studies assignment, then, Moral. After Mid-Sem Exam baru do my BKA assignment... Hohoho~~ XD

Tata~ Surely will be a heck of a three weeks starting today... hehehe...

Will start listening to music all day and all night long to keep myself going on... hahaha

XD

Annoyed...

I don't believe this. I mean, I refuse to.

Someone's getting on my nerves, and... to tell the truth, that person didn't do anything to me. But it's the things that person does to himself and others that I'm pissed off at.

May I ask why? Why are you like this?

Why is it so hard for you to try as hard as we do? It's just a simple thing to do and you have to cheat in order to make yourself happy. What is wrong with you?

We've clicked our hearts out in order for us to get our high scores. And I dare say we were also annoyed when we didn't get good marks. And I also dare say we've never even thought of cheating. But you. I don't know what it is wrong with you that made you do it.

Is it because you wanna be number one in the list of players? If that is so, shouldn't you get to that position by using your own POTENTIAL? Why cheat? Do you feel glamorous being on the top spot but everyone knows that you're actually cheating?

Or is it because you wanna show off your ability to cheat? If that is so, I suggest you go somewhere else and cheat. It freaking annoys me to see your name on top of the list knowing that you didn't do much to earn it.

What is it that lead you to do this? I'm freaking curious. And damn pissed off as well... ==

伤啊！！！

Sigh~~~~

我以为我有那种勇气来抵抗它的魅力。。。

但我知道，现在的我，根本没有哪一种力量来应付他。。。

我很生气我自己没有足量的纪律来应付这场“战争”。。。

我很想把它给放下，但每一次它被提起时，我的心就会无意中的暂停一下；我无法呼吸；我很想大声尖叫，但我知道，无论我做什么，他还是会回来地　“诱惑”　我。。。仿佛叫着我，叫我不要轻易的放弃。。。

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！

为何你要这样残酷？为何你要这样的来折磨我呢？难道要把你放下真的有这么难吗？

“不行了。。。　你不能在这样的痛苦下去了”　我告诉我自己。但我这样做又如何呢？只要我一天还留在　Swinburne　我知道要把你放下是一件很难的事。只要我有看到你的名字，我就会不知不觉的想念你。。。

眼看手不动；能看不能碰。这种感觉真的是非常的残酷。。。

我现在就仿佛生不如死；没看见你就好像世界末日一样。但一看到你我就无法呼吸，整个灵魂根本都不再属于我的了。。。

我发觉到，每一次我被某某人吸引到时，每当我想把他给忘了，他就会无时无刻地出现在我面前。但我很想见他时，他就无影无终；根本连影子都看不到。。。

天啊！！！您能给我一种能把他给忘掉的力量吗？

如果待在这里是我无法把你忘掉的理由的话，那我现在很想捡了包袱；一走了之。。。

T__T

我现在真的真的很想念你。。。很想马上都能见到你。。。但如果见了你我又会很想你。。。

Sigh~~~

100th post

Ain't it funny? *thinking of the Jennifer Lopez's song by the same title*

Last night, as I was updating my blog with sadness in which some of my friends could feel me, I was all but happy and joyful. And now, I'm all joyful and happy but everything else.

I guess you can call me... changeable. A chameleon. Maybe that's what I am. But hey, I have told you guys --at least tried-- that I change my mind/thoughts really easily. I have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). Yea, sucks. ==

Last night, I missed someone a lot. And to an extend that it hurt me... After seeking guidance from Joanne, who kept on telling me to let that person go, and Syaza, who told me more or less the same thing, I've made a decision, and that is I will let that person go. I don't wanna be the reason a sweet couple breaks up, nor do I wanna live a life where I'm not who I am.

It's stupid of me thinking that it's alright to be the third party in a relationship. I mean. Sure, it'll bring me happiness, but how long will it last right? It's about time I start thinking about the prolonged consequences instead of the ones that are right in front of me. Meaning, I should think about the future instead. Will I really be happy in the end?? I don't think so too...

Although this person has come to my mind several times today, the feeling is different from how it was last night. Last night, as I thought about that person, I was sad and desperate... But now, I'm cool and calm. No longer did I have the lust to own this person anymore.

Today, I've listened to a lot of great tracks... From My Chemical Romance to Tata Young, I'm really happy that my library is finally updated with songs that I might enjoy for now. Seriously. I'm already sick of hearing the same Beyonce, Britney & Lady Gaga songs. Today, as I listen to Tata Young and MCR, I was happy.

One of the most memorable songs was MCR's "I Don't Love You"...

One sentence from its lyrics said, "I don't love you, like I did, yesterday."

Yea, that is so true. I love that sentence to death. Literally! HAHAHA!!!

I think this phrase was the reason I downloaded the whole album today, because, I've heard the whole album before, back in Form 4, which is 2007. But because I've forgotten about the song until today, I have never thought of downloading this fabulous album for myself...

People, if you're into great music, MCR's "The Black Parade" is a must-own. There aren't shouting like Linkin Park's, nor are they disturbing lyrics + music such as Metallica/other rock bands... The lyrics are well-written; witty and awesome, and some songs will definitely touch you in some way...

Then, it's Tata Young. Before I reformatted my laptop, I have had her albums in my library, in which I'd skip some of the songs when they are being played. But now, as I listened to all three of her English albums (I don't do Thai, sorry), I remembered that I was deeply in love with her songs before...

And two of the most touching songs I've ever heard from her are both in her second English album, "Temperature Rising", and the songs are "I Guess I Never Knew My Baby" and "For You I Will".

The lyrics to "I Guess I Never Knew My Baby" is really sad... It's about a couple breaking up, and she sang, "I'm saying I never trusted you the way I should; I guess I never knew my baby; I guess my baby never knew me. And tell me why, we never did the things we could; I guess I never knew my baby; I guess my baby never knew me, at all~"

It's such a sad song, you know? But it's okay if you don't get it. lolz.

And the second one, "For You I Will", it talks about friendship. Well, at least in my point of view. Check out the lyrics. I HAVE to post it here... I've been wanting to share this song for AGES! And now I finally have the chance... Wee~~

Tata Young - For You I Will (Temperature Rising) [2006]

When you're feeling lost in the night

When you feel your world just ain't right

Call on me, I will be waiting

Count on me, I will be there

Anytime the times get too tough

Anytime your best ain't enough

I'll be the one to make it better

I'll be there to protect you, see you through

I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do

[Chorus]

I will cross the ocean for you

I will go and bring you the moon

I will be your hero, your strength

Anything you need

I will be the sun in your sky

I will light your way for all time

Promise you, for you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain

I won't let no harm come your way

Oh these arms will be your shelter

No these arms won't let you down

If there is a mountain to move

I will move that mountain for you

I'm here for you, I'm here forever

I will be your fortress, tall and strong

I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you, right or wrong

[Chorus]

For you I will, lay my life on the line

For you I will fight, hmmm, for you I will die

With every breath, with all my soul

I'll give my word, I'll give it all

Put your faith in me

And I'll do anything

[Chorus]

Promise you, for you I will

I've wanted to sing this song for some time now, but... nah... not a good idea... lolz... hahahhaa

As long as I have the heart then okay liao lah~ hahaah =D

Ahh~~ now downloading G Force, Blu Ray 720p the movie... I can't wait (for the download to finish)!!! XD

HAHAHA!!! I gotta feeling, that I'm gonna be really happy~~ Without you~~ =)

And, WOO HOO!!! This marks my 100th post!!! I can't believe it!!! XD

hehehe... can't wait for my 1000th post... mwahahahahhaah... XD

[Recovering & Happy Joey]

IMY

Have you ever been in a relationship where you seriously want to be with someone, but can't because of certain circumstances?

Be it exes, distance or whatever, there's bound to be something in the way.

I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

Why couldn't a pair of couple just be in love with no other people/stuff interfering?

"Ik ben bereid om een derde partij te doen. . . Maar we hebben goede resultaten?"

I posted this in as my status today. It means... "I don't mind being the third party, but will this result in a good ending?"

More or less the same meaning. Coz I typed this in Chinese, and translated it to Dutch (I think; couldn't remember).

Grr... I feel like a bitch. So desperate for love, but knows deep down inside I can't have one.

I don't wanna be a third party, and spoil everything for them. They are a happy couple; a perfect match... I don't wanna separate them, nor do I have the strength or ability to do so.

But it hurts me every time I look at that person, knowing that we couldn't be together.

Grr... why is this happening? Things weren't like this! They weren't like this during the previous semester! Maybe we weren't supposed to have known each other... Maybe I shouldn't have joined SDC, then I wouldn't have met them. And then he'd still be hating me and she'd never have known me at all.

But what's the use of bull-ing right? What's past is past, and I can never turn back time to go back to the past and tell myself, "Don't do it. Don't join the freaking Dance Club."

=\

I hate it. I hate it whenever I'm in love or whether it's just a crush, the person MUST be the wrong one for me. Why? God is sadistic enough? ==

Sigh... I can't help but to miss you a lot... And damn how I wish I could resist you... I don't care if you know or not, I just wanna say, "I Miss You"......

=(

NEW MOON~~~

wee~ today went to watch Twilight: New Moon with 9 other friends, namely, with alphabetical order, Aaron, Adeline, Alvin, Andy, Crystal, Jessie, Jin, Joane, me (Joey) and Rocky... hehehe

The movie, before I watched it, I've heard A LOT of bad comments and bad reviews about it, and so I have have those not-so-pleasant thoughts about the movie... Like, is it worth my RM11? And... it is any better than Twilight, which sucked like hell? O.o

But after watching the movie, I was actually... pleased. =)

The movie, although started boringly, is actually good after Edward left... Lolz

Only one thing about the movie, and that is the scriptwriters have totally ruined the script. Their conversations (the characters) are stupidly written and it doesn't sound like they're talking to each other... It was like some random moments of the scenario...

But I do like some of the conversation, like Rosalie telling something about her past... ;)

Can't wait for Rosalie to tell how she was turned into a vamp in "Eclipse"... =)

Gosh, now that I'm actually delighted at how "New Moon" is captured, I'm now anticipating "Eclipse"!!! =D

Hopefully the same team is involved in "Eclipse", but change the scriptwriters, please? Lolz...

Ooh, I love New Moon~~ =D

And yea, I enjoy watching Dakota Fanning as Jane in the movie... She's such a great actress... :)

2012 Review~

It has been quite sometime already since I watched the movie "2012", and even though I have wanted to review the movie, but since I was too "busy" being lazy, I didn't...

And now, I think, just do it lah~ Make my blog looks updated... mwahahaha

Ok, so here's the thing.

I went to watch "2012" last two weeks ago (Yes, it has been THAT long... ==), and the movie is... AWESOME!!! XD

Yes, even though the effects look too over-the-top in some parts of the movie, like how the people died and so, it is not wise to say that it might not happen.

The movie started in 2009, with the Sun exploding some part of itself (it's a natural process actually...), sending radiation to the Earth. But this time, the explosion is too abnormal that, it might actually endanger our Earth. And duh, it does endanger the Earth, and that's why the movie happens... ==

The movie then quickly jumps to 2010, and then 2011, and finally 2012. I'm not going to tell you what happened between the years, (because 1] I have forgotten and 2] I don't wanna spoil you people) and in 2012, the catastrophe begins....

We're introduced to the lead character, whom I have forgotten his full name... If I'm not mistaken, he's called Jackson. He's an author (my ambition as well... =D), and he's working part-time as a driver for a very rich man by the name... Yuri...

He was supposed to bring his children, Noah (a strange name for a kid these days... especially three years from now... I don't hear a lot of Noahs in this world... O.o) and Lily (ah... Lili~~) for camping, but he was late. (sigh... that is so... me... ==)

He brings his children to the place where he and his divorced wife, Kate, used to date (in the Yellowstone National Park), but found out that the lake was gone, and there has been borders to prevent people from entering.

And then... skip to days later... he found our that his boss's sons are getting tickets to go somewhere, and they told him he is going to die.

Then, fast forward, he got his family (including his ex-wife's current boyfriend, Gordon) into a plane and flew away as they experienced how their city, Los Angeles, sink into the Earth.

Then, blah blah blah, I don't want to spoil anymore, and I'll just let y'all see the movie for yourself... =)

I've read the goofs in IMDB.com, and hehehe... some of the goofs are really funny... hahaha

Despite having lots of goofs, the movie is still quite good as it really shows how one person (the scientist Adrian) would try to save as many people as possible when the end of the world happens, and how Jackson would save his own family when this happened. It has its touching moments, and some of the parts brought my hairs up. While some scenes are funny, there could be some rude scenes as well (such as the language and so on...)

Overall, it is a good "end-of-the-world" movie, and hopefully you guys will enjoy it as much as I did...

lolz..

Procrastination~~ XD

As you guys may know, I am lazy. Can't really help being lazy though... It has been a habit since young... Guess I should have been more disciplined... Sometimes I just hate myself for being too... undisciplined...

I mean, when there are obviously things that I should do, because of my lack of discipline, I tend to procrastinate, giving reasons whatsoever not to do it. Even though I may be passionate, but because I'm "LAZY", in the end, I did none of the things and as a result, I got complaints and disagreements from people.

Oh well, I seriously don't know when will I be able to change. I hope I can just suddenly wake up one day and be disciplined... Or there is just someone who I favor, telling me to do it. "It" being things that I want to do, but can't due to my lack of consciousness of the importance of the stuff... =\

Sigh... just some random stuff... hehehe

=P

No need to take this too seriously lah... Just wanna let my mind out... hahaha

XD

DECEMEBER HEADER~~

December's Here!!! It means it's the time for a change of header~~

I did this header for hours (three if I'm not mistaken) using Photoshop... =P

Kinda like it... Changed the blog's template as well just to suit the header... hehehe

Hope you guys like it~~ =D

Summary~

It's December already! Woo!!!

Can't wait! For next year to come... then can go back home~~ =)

I really miss home loh... But I miss my friends here as well... Starting to get really close with some of my friends already... hehehe

December means the final month of a year. It is the conclusion of everything that has happened in a year.

In this post, I'll try to summarize what has been happening to me for the past eleven months...

January to Early March - I have been playing and relaxing the whole time~~ so fun lah, nothing to do at all~~ hahahahahaha...

Left Brunei and came to Kuching for the first time on 18th March 2009... I missed my Bruneian friends a lot lah~~~ Can't wait to go back and talk to them again... I wonder if there's been a wall being built around us?

March until Late June - My foundation in Engineering/Science began on 23rd March this year. This is the month when I couldn't focus on my studies at all. Met a lot of people, and had been living my life the way I shouldn't be. Made some friends, and had lost some as well. There has been tears, joy and anger throughout these months.

Despair and disappointment filled my life as I began to miss home more and more as time went by.

July to Early August - Went back home~~~ Enjoyed my life with my family a lot. Couldn't hang out with my friends because of H1N1 that time... I wondered if my friends have missed me? I wonder are they angry at me for not contacting them? But I have my own reasons though...

August to November - my second semester of foundation began. Failed one of the subjects of my previous semester, and had been very down for the first few days of my second semester. Through some good friends which I have met online, (Christian & Mashieta), whom they've told me to live strongly and keep moving on no matter what happened, I managed to continue struggling for my foundation.

Currently - Now... I'm taking my "Summer Semester" subjects, the "Compulsory Subjects"... they are not too bad... but not enjoyable as well... Currently, I am waiting for my MPW (the abbreviation for the Malay translation for "Compulsory Subjects") to finish. Then, exam, and then go home~~ =D