Seriously... I mean I'm tired both physically and mentally...
I've finally understood why people... dislike me. Coz I'm not masculine enough. Lol~
Sad, but true... And I seriously can't find any proof to deny this fact. Browse through my pictures in Facebook or whatever, and tell me, of all the pictures, how many of those pictures can show me that I am "masculine"? LOL.
Sigh... Can't do anything about it as well...
Just now, in that room... You have no idea how intimidated I was... Being in a room filled with people who don't really appreciate your presence... They didn't say it out loud, but the aura of hatred is undeniably strong. Making up an excuse of "Erm, I go to library first, yea?", I quickly turned away and began walking.
I don't know why I was afraid of them in some ways. Can't really blame them for being controversial in a way, right? Not everyone in this world can accept people like me. And I used to think that I was "okay", but until I've seen those pictures... Those horrible pictures of a person who looked like neither a guy nor a woman, ugh...
Yea, I'm talking about myself actually... Starting to hate myself, but like I said, there's nothing I can do. What's done, is done.
I can only pray for a cure for this...
Can somebody please teach me how to walk like a normal human and not like a... "Model"? Sheesh... I know, during that day, when I taught the girls how to walk like a model, people are laughing at me, secretly calling me names and so on... It's hurtful, but I can't do anything to stop them... After all, they have the "right" to speak...
Argh! I'm in a desperate need for someone to smack some sense into me! Turn me into a human please? I'm really tired of people talking... I've been "tough" for so long... I don't know if I can still manage to keep going on...
Sometimes I just wished that I were someone else instead of me. Even my name suggests that I am girly. ==
Maybe I should just disappear... And have no one miss me at all... Maybe... Just maybe, by the time I was gone, people will actually cheer for me... Coz, for once in their life, a freako is gone... Once, and forever gone...
You are unique, no matter what ppl label u.
ReplyDeleteU are u, not what ppl label u. If they wanna say just let them say. They prolly have nothing better to do anyway, so they just diss ppl. Not to mention narrow-minded and ignorant. Why care so much abt ppl who doensnt care abt u?
There are worse ppl la. Just look at the guy in the video where he sings 'boom boom pow', 'pokerface'. U knw how many ppl threw insults at him. That one..sigh dunno wat to say la.
Those who see past the outer side and into ur heart, and still stays with u, are the ones u shud keep. The rest can go piss sumwhere else. Dunc are so much abt what ppl think.
But...now u know how MJ felt rite? And he suffered WORSE i tell u. Still he lived with it, forgiving, and didn't hit back or revenge or whatever. Not asking u to do that, but at least u can start by NOT CARING how ppl think of u. Just grit ur teeth and ignore and continue what u do.
If they can find a better person to teach the walks watever, tell tehm to go find la.
Why are u like this? Its cos u tried to imitate those models on tv..and the way those american gals talk and stuff. In time it became ur habit and part of u. Whatever it is, never look down on urself. Cos if u do, how do u expect other ppl to not look down on u?
Think. ANd ignore those asses.