Sien... seven early eight early already seek tiok them... zzz

My Greatest Mistakes in Kuching

1) Falling in love with those who I shouldn't have. But... if you ask me I'd say I'd do it again... Coz it's always a very pleasurable feeling to be in love... =)

2) Coming here... Seriously, I get my heart broken every single semester... Now my heart has been so scarred that it feels nothing already... lol~

3) Getting to know you all... Seriously, if I'd known, I'd never have joined Dance Club and nothing would have happened from then on... It all began after I knew and got close to you all...

Hm... I actually have thought of more, but... I just forgot what they are when I actually am typing... lol~ =P

3 more days...

3 more days to decide it all...

I'm really hoping for the worst, which is the best for me. =P

I don't know what will happen, I just hope that it will be in the way that I liked it... =P

New Wishlist!

Remember my post which was like, a hundred ages ago? This one.

Out of the 13 things that I wanted to do, I did 12 of them. :D

And so I'm coming up with a new wishlist that I hope am able to achieve. :)

1) Save money for contact lenses. Yes, I think I look better without my specs. =P
2) Save money for a new laptop. Yes, something that when I look at it, I won't have the urge to release my anger onto... Lol! =D
3) Go for body-building. Seriously, I'm too skinny... And, I think I'll look better (and attract more girls) if I'm somehow more fit. =P
4) Start working. There's this shop in The Spring, "Game Mania", and they're hiring... =) And, if I can get a post there, I will be able to one, play games, two, work, and three, earn money! =D

hahahahahahaha~ Well, that's what I have in mind right now... :)

It's true that we don't know a lot of things in this world.

Currently, I don't know how long my heart is going to continue beating. It's become more and more... how to say? Well, refer to my previous post.

There has been a lot of things happening recently... October just isn't the month for me I guess... It's not like I care... At least not anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore. People continue to live for their ambitions; for their dreams. But I don't even know what they are anymore. There was once in Twitter when #in10years was trending.

I wanted to type "#in10years I will be a successful man, where I earn lots of money and live with my family happily ever after". But... as I typed "#in10years", I stopped. I can't even see that far into the future yet...

I don't even know if I would wake up the next day, what more should I expect in 10 years time?

I'm currently very lost. I don't know what to do, and I have no motivation in doing anything anymore.

I've been selfishly thinking that if my loan doesn't get approved, I'll go back to Miri and I'll work there. So that I can be with my family again. Kuching is seriously more and more retarded than I can get used to. More and more rotten things have happened and I don't want to go through them anymore...

You can call me a coward. A wimp. A loser. I don't care. I couldn't care either.

If I have no reason to believe in myself, why should I believe in anything else, right? Right now, I'm just grateful that my heart is still beating... The furthest that I can see in the future is next year, January. When I go back home for good... I don't want to study anymore... I seriously don't feel like studying anymore...

Why waste money on me? There's someone else in the family who deserves more than me to study and I feel like I'm just standing in her way. If I've never existed, she would be studying now. She wouldn't have to suffer all the pain that she's going through. I feel like a monster, destroying people's future.

I really have tried my best. I've tried my best to impress everyone. But not only do my impressions failed, I now have lost the power to continue living.

Sigh... This should be the best time in my life to throw a 500mph car toward me as I'm crossing the road on my way back home...

I ♥ U

Ever wondered why ♥ is typed as < 3?

It's because you accept your other half's negativity, makes him/her feel like there is zero gravity, proofs to him/her that you're his/her one and only, so that the two of you can be together...

:)

It's October!

Gah, the dreadful September is finally over...

And I think my readers (especially those who are connected with me via FB and Twitter) must have been thinking, "Uh, again? Can't he just move on?"

Well, my answer to you guys: "I will. Right after this post."

And so October hasn't been very friendly to me yet, but I think things will turn out to be better... Unlike last month, it started so smoothly and by the final few days it began to rain shit all over me... ==

Okay, so here's to all the people wishing for a month better than September... "Happy October!"

My prayers will be heard. They will. Although I don't really know who will hear them, but I know they will not go unheard... I believe...

So here's what happen when you don't know who to believe in... They are so many religions, and they are all talking about the same thing... Hahaha... It's like a person not knowing whether he should choose DiGi, Celcom or Maxis... (Is Celcom and Maxis the same plan? O.o)

Whatever... You get what I mean... XD

Alright... Time to move on... Today's just the second day of October... I won't be wishing for too much yet... The best things are meant for us to wait and anticipate for, right? XD

Something is wrong...

...with my heart.

That thing happened yesterday, but my heart felt nothing... nothing at all.

No bitterness.

No sadness.

No anger.

No happiness.

No nothing...

None at all...

Normally, if things like that happened, my first reaction would be crying my heart out. But not this time... This time, I couldn't even make myself sympathetic enough to cry my heart out. This time, I am not the victim. They are. They just made (one of) their biggest mistakes in their lives.

Well... it's not like they care, right? If they stopped being friends with me, they could be cheering. But whatever their reaction is, I don't care anymore.

Starting today, I swear, that I will live for myself, and no longer my friends...

Seriously...

What's the use of putting them in front of me when they don't appreciate it?

What's the use of taking a bullet for them when they don't need to be saved?

What's the use of everything that I have ever done for them?

What's the use of calling each other "brother/sister" when none of them took it to the heart?

And by the way, to all of the people I have listed as my siblings in Facebook, I treat them wholeheartedly as if they're my family.

But yea... Sometimes it's the closest people to you that hurt you the most...

From today onwards, I won't waste my time thinking if my words will hurt others. I will put myself as the main priority... I won't let myself get hurt anymore.

To those that think I'm talking about you, yea. I am talking about you. Go figure how you've treated me recently. Think about how I have been treating you guys and how you guys have been treating me.

For times and times again, I suck everything in because I treasure our friendship. It seems like our Titanic has finally hit the iceberg. It is slowly sinking, and hell yea, it's sinking.

It's just a matter of time before the Titanic sinks completely. It's just a matter of time where I will not give a damn about you people anymore...

And here I would like to make it official: I quit Dance Club.

Happy Birthday MUM!!! =D

Okay, this should be a "Happy Belated Birthday" greeting instead... Coz I don't have any access to the internet yesterday... Well, I did have, but only for about 20 minutes... And for that 20 minutes I didn't even think of updating my blog... haha...

So, yesterday was a very eventful and unforgettable day for me... =)

I woke up at around 9 something, forcing myself to get up because I need to get to Swinburne by 12pm to listen to rules and regulations of a tournament that I participated in...

Since the previous night, on Friday, I have already have bad feelings for Saturday, and guess what? I am so right!

When I woke up to brush my teeth and to take a shower, there's no water for about 30 minutes!!! =(

And so I took my sweet sweet time to play my PSP... =P

At around 11am, I was ready for Swinburne. I went to the Swinburne Carnival to check out some stuff, and luckily my 大哥 Andy was there to show me around. He brought me to Dance Club's stall and there I bought a cup of sugarcane juice. =P

After that we went to the library. There we saw Jessie, Ah Jo, Alvin and Boon Han. After that, Duckie, Elmer and Rocky arrived at the library and they chatted for awhile while I continued to practice my Tekken... =P

And so, at around 12pm, impatiently I walked to the Auditorium to see how things go... I was casted as the 14th player, out of an initial 18, and finally 20. The tournament would only start at 2pm, and so I have 2 more hours to practice.

The thing that I was the most worried about was the assignment of the shoulder buttons (the L1/L2/R1/R2 buttons of the controller). Because I have been heavily spoiled by my shoulder buttons, I was worried if shoulder buttons are unassigned, I would be in deep trouble... You see, I have been developing some really cool (and not to mention very long and powerful) combos with the help of my shoulder buttons.

Initially, the shoulder buttons are assigned, but the settings are uneasy for me to adapt and hence I was once again, worried.

I tried to reassign the buttons on my PSP to force myself to adapt to the new button settings, but after about 3 or 4 matches later, the organizer, Mr. Robert, announced that shoulder buttons would not be used because some of the players have brought their own controller and it's very troublesome to reassign the shoulder buttons every time the controller is changed.

After hearing the news, I told myself to calm down, because without the shoulder buttons, I still have other combos to unleash... I'll just have to save them for other matches in the future... =)

Then, it was finally my turn to play. I used my dearest Lili, (pictured here) in her third costume (pictured here). The stage was Manji Valley (the snow place), against an opponent named "Space Monyet"... I have forgotten who he has used, but yea, I managed to "Perfect" him once... =P

After that, I waited for other players to play while I try to study every players' fighting patterns... But, yea, I didn't get to learn much... Hehe~ =)

When it was my turn to play again, I guess it was the controller's problem, where I couldn't execute my moves correctly. I think there should be some sort of a lag in the controller and so I panicked. I wanted to ask for a change of controllers but I didn't... (Another reason would be because I was intimidated by the opponent, who uses Paul. I'm SCARED of Paul!!! T___T)

And so I lost that match... I didn't give up actually, since it's a Double-Elimination, meaning you can lose in the tournament twice... Lose once, you go to the "Loser's Bracket". You lose again, you lost the tournament... So from the "Loser's Bracket", there's still a chance for me to win the tournament... =)

And finally, it came to Top 8, Top 4, and finally Top 2... The process was long enough, but I enjoyed it a lot... =)

In my final match between me and my opponent, Patrick, I have to beat him twice, actually, before I can be considered as the winner. Because I have lost once, but he hasn't. And so he needs to go through a Double-Elimination as well... O.o

The final match was between Lili & Asuka... Wow, what a coincidence... They are both rivals! hahaha... :D

Patrick won the first round, and since then I began to mercilessly kick his bottom... Sorry! =P

When he was eliminated once, I can see that he has been holding back his combos a lot. As if he was intimidated by me. =S

But still I kept my cool and continued bashing on Asuka until I finally won the tournament... To tell the truth, I actually didn't realize that I have won until I noticed that I was in the Top 2... XD

I was actually waiting for my next match when I discovered that... It was already my final match... XD

And here are some photos~ ;D

The battle formation (whatever it is being called...)

My first match against Mr. Space Monyet

My final match against Patrick...



Me, receiving the prize~~ :D



Me! =D

Yea, I've learned a lot through this competition... Hopefully I can train further to become a better Lili user... =)

And so, until next time, this has been The King of Iron Fist Tournament 6, Joey Chen. :)