Change

It is a fact that everyone changes in this world... Even things change, not only people... The result of a change can either bring about something good, or otherwise.

I've changed recently. Well, that's according to me. I think I have changed... More accurately, I have matured. (Please notice that the word "matured" is in italics.)

Well, I think this change is a good one...

Right now, I don't really care if I'm alone anymore. I'm not the previous Joey who was always anticipating a company when he's alone. I'm now used to being alone, and any other company is fine with me... I'm no longer selective of friends, but still maintains my selection of the people to whom I wanna meet and be with. Which... one way or another, means I still am selective of friends, but it's not to an extent that I will just go shove everyone away.

The current Joey isn't afraid of being himself in public anymore. He dances and sings in public, and he's not really ashamed of doing so. Well... there are still times where I will try to shut myself, but... it's just a phase that I'm going through. :)

If anyone of you remembered, I once posted a post about myself... The one where I say I wanna live my life as myself and not as what others want me to be. I'm being that. I'm trying to live my life as myself... I don't want to shapeshift myself just so that people will like me. That's very tiring and it doesn't really prove to be fruitful. Besides, if they are my friends, they will like the real me and not someone I've altered in order to be liked.

:)

I think I like the current me a lot... :)

New Section coming...

Okay, so... I have been watching more and more movies recently, and as a person who always love to share his thoughts around, I think I'll set up a new section called the "Reel Review", where I'll talk about what I think about the movies I've watched before... Not ALL of the movies that I've watched before though, just the recent ones... Can't wait~ ;)

A Sulking Kid

Met a sulking kid just now as I was having my vegetarian breakfast over at Daily Joy just now...

And, boy oh boy, did it not remind me of someone so familiar?

I used to be like that when I was little... I have always hated my outings with my family when I was little... I hate waking up really early in the morning just to have breakfast and then go back home to rest for an hour or so and then will go Bandar next. I have always hated that, and so I was always sulking whenever my parents bring me for breakfast. My face is always like this: >:(

Yea...

And... after maturing, I've come to realize that I miss that moments really much... Right now, I would do anything just to go back to that time again... To just be with my family again... Back when there was nothing wrong with my family...

So, looking at that sulking kid, an angry thought came to me...

I have wanted to go to him and just say, "Hey kid. Do you know that life is short? Are you really going to spend your childhood sulking away? Do you want to look back your years as a kid that has always been sulking and nothing else? No happy memories... just one sulking after another? What? Do you want to hold a record of being in sulkish mode for the longest period, and then what? Get into Guinness Book of World Records?"

Okay, the final part is added by me right as I am typing... :P

Sigh...

Hate on Me, Haters~ XD

Glee Cast - Hate on Me (sung by Mercedes in the show; sung by Jill Scott)

Mercedes' Version : Here

Jill Scott's Version : Here

If I could give you the world

On a silver platter

Would it even matter?

You'd still be mad at me

If I can find in all this

A dozen roses

That I would give to you

You'd still be miserable

'Cause in reality

I'm gon' be who I be

And I don't feel no faults

For all the lies that you bought

You can try as you may

Bring me down but I say

That it ain't up to you

Gonna do what you do

Hate on me hater

Now or later

'Cause I'm gonna do me

You'll be mad baby

(Go 'head and hate)

Go 'head and hate on me hater

'Cause I'm not afraid of

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

Ooh if I gave you peaches

Out of my own garden

And I made you a peach pie

Would you slap me hard?

Wonder if I gave you diamonds

Out of my own room

Would you feel the love in that

Or ask why not the moon?

If I gave you sanity

For the whole of humanity

And had all the solutions

For the pain and pollution

No matter where I live

Despite the things I give

You'll always be this way

So go ahead and

Hate on me hater

Now or later

Cause I'm gonna do me

You'll be mad baby

(Go 'head and hate)

Go 'head and hate on me hater

'Cause I'm not afraid of

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

Hate on me hater

Now or later

Cause I'm gonna do me

You'll be mad baby

Go 'head and hate on me hater

'Cause I'm not afraid of

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

You cannot hate on me

Now or later

Cause I'm gonna do me

You'll be mad baby

Go 'head and hate on me hater

'Cause I'm not afraid of

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

Hate on me hater

Now or later

Cause I'm gonna do me

You'll be mad baby

Go 'head and hate on me hater

'Cause I'm not afraid of

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

*Note: some of the lyrics aren't that accurate... According to my ears, of course. For example, when she sang "Would you slap me hard?", to me it sounded like "Would you slap me huh?" and... "Wonder if I give you diamonds, out of my own room", to me it's "Out of my own womb". :)*

Tchyea~ Hate on me, haters. :)

A thought came onto me when I was doing my EMB just now in the library... hahaha

People can do all sorts of bad things to you, (insulting you, ignoring you, hit you, frame you, betray you, backstab you... and the list goes on...) and you can only do two things: either 1) react, or 2) ignore.

What would you do if something bad happens to you?

I normally would choose to react by ignoring them, but... how long can my bubble hold on before I finally burst up? That, I don't know. And... until now, I'm still glad that my bubble hasn't burst. yet.

So why am I typing this, you ask? If I am still happy with my current friends and so on?

Well, long question short answer, coz I feel like it. :)

I have been spending too much of my time being afraid of what people might think of me and how they would react if I did this or that. I have spent nearly three quarter of my life being such an introvert, and I was never really able to let myself shine. I always let my friends shine brighter than me, because I thought that was the way things should be.

But, I realized that... Sometimes I deserve to shine as well... I, too, have to right to be shining brightly in front of my friends. I don't want to be the one who will have to watch my friends get the sweet fruits first while I get the last piece of fruit and the fruit turns out to be bad. I don't want to keep putting my friends before me. After all, it's my life, and not theirs that I am living, right?

If you think I will be selfish from now on, well, you're wrong, actually. Coz I don't plan on being selfish, but I'm saying that I want to just let myself be heard instead of doing the hearing all the time. I voluntarily lend my ears for those who needed an ear or two, but no one has ever done the same for me.

Okay, so maybe I have. And I'm grateful. I really am. :)

But still, after thinking about all the sacrifices that I have poured in for my friends and received naught a thing in return has sometimes really pissed me off. There was never a genuine "thank you" coming from them, and it just appears to me as if they only need me when they are in trouble or what... Is that what friends are for, I think not.

So you see, I will not spend anymore of my precious time thinking about how my friends will react to my actions. I have the right to update my Facebook status every 3 minutes and I have the right to tweet until Twitter goes into Over Capacity mode. I have every single right as every other people out there. So if you're annoyed by my constant updates, there are two things that you can do in Facebook. 1) Hide me. 2) Delete me from your list of friends.

In Twitter, you can unfollow me. I don't mind. I don't care. The less people to read my thoughts, the better. In my case, the less, the merrier. ;)

But let me just tell you one thing. If one day you realize that something has been missing or is incomplete in your life, let me tell you that the thing that you're missing is me. :)

And hell yes, I am being an overconfident brat right now. Well, like the blog's title says, "Hate on me, haters~"

I don't give a damn about you and your opinions. I live as myself. Not a part of you that you wished you were. Alright? Kapisch? :)

Tata~

It's Not Like Anyone Cares

Okay. so it's been so long since I last updated my blog... Does anyone care? I think not. No one comments on my posts, and no one typed anything in my chatbox. Well, guess my blog has lost its interest, huh? :)

In case you are wondering, no, I am not changing my blog header anymore... My laptop has broken down and without Photoshop, it's hard for me to create a new header... But, like I said, it's not like anyone cares...

So... instead of blogging about how my life has been these few days/weeks when I haven't been updating my blog, well... all I can say is that I am doing fine and I have never felt this great before... but... I'm getting really tired... =\

Lalalala~ So... until I feel like blogging again, this has been Joey the Only.

*It's not like anyone cares, right?*

Happy Mothers' Day!!!

It's here~ Mother's Day is here...

This year marks the second year in which I couldn't celebrate with my mother again... And... I know that she'd really want us to be there with her... at least just for a day...

And although she keeps telling me that she understands that I am working, but still... I feel so bad for being unable to text her... I mean, she's my one and only mother and I chose my work over her. =(

You people might say I'm being foolish for thinking likewise, but... I guess I just don't want to face the truth.

Just now, while working, I saw all those children begging their parents to buy them stuff... And it reminded me of how I did the same as well in order to get the things that I wanted when I was little... I'd keep pulling on the corner of my mum's shirt and keep sulking until she gets me the item that I wanted.

The only difference is that, the children I saw today are all begging their mothers to buy CDs or DVDs for them... But me... I was begging my mum to buy me books... I guess that's why I wanted to be an author... hahahaha...

Or maybe it's just because I knew my mum would never ever buy me those things... She'd rather have me gain something from reading instead of just watch a movie or listen to a CD and the next thing we know, the CDs/DVDs are either lost or neglected. How smart my mother is... =)

I couldn't hold on to my tears just now as I was bidding her farewell. It was just like any other Sundays where she'd have to leave Miri to go back to Brunei, but still... I couldn't hold back my tears again today... Maybe it's the fact that I know she's trying to hide her tears as well as she was texting me...

Oh damn... Here I go again... Crying for the third time today... The second time while typing all these... Gosh... Since when am I so sentimental? hahaha...

Anyways, I wanna wish all the wonderful women out there who carry the role as a mother... You are my heroins always... :)

My mother is THE heroin of my heart and no one will ever replace her in my heart. =)

I love you mum!! And Happy Mother's Day to you!!! You are the reason I'm proudly typing this as your son. :)

I miss you so much as well...

My First Day Working!

Woohoo!!! Finally! The time has come for me to of legal age in order to work!!! I have always wanted to work (to earn money) but everytime I suggest working, my parents would say, "No, it's too early for you... You're too young."

==

Well, now that I am 18, the age where you can do almost anything, I've finally accomplished my personal "mission" to work~ =)

Happy Happy Day~ (I'm actually listening to "Happy Day" sung Rie Kugimiya, the woman who voiced Happy in Fairy Tail superbly... XD)

The Character Voice albums of Fairy Tail is AWESOME!!! XD

Okay, back to "My First Day Working!"... I shall blog about Fairy Tail some other time... ;)

So... I applied for a part time job in Speedy over in The Spring last Saturday (1st May 2010), and the guy, who is now my colleague, told me to start on Monday, which was yesterday. :D

Woohoo!!! I have never been so excited before~~ hahahaha... :D

So here's my work shift:

Mondays to Fridays : 5pm to 10pm
Saturdays and Sundays : 10am to 10pm

I'm actually okay with the time shift... In fact, it's perfect... totally suits me... =D

Perhaps this is a sign that I will enjoy my work a lot... And it's true! I really do enjoy my work a lot!!!

*Spoiler*

Okay, as I was typing the last paragraph, something really freaky happened... The computer that was in front of mine was in its "Screensaver" mode... And suddenly, it just "snaps out" of it and then the next thing I see is that the mouse started to move on its own... and right clicked, and selected "Properties"... (And no, I don't mean the mouse as in the physical one but in the screen punya mouse) It then did something to the computer and now it's completely static... No more movements... To make things straight, there isn't anyone sitting in front of the computer whatsoever... Freaky or not, you say?"

*End of Spoiler*

I sense there are more things to be taught today... And I sure hope I'm ready to absorb it all... :)

hehehe...

I love my job~~ =)

Starting next week, you people wouldn't be able to see me online that frequently anymore... Reason? Coz I'm starting my part-time job in Speedy~~ =D

I'm so happy for it!!! =D

Finally I can start depending on myself... I can finally do something instead of Facebooking everyday... It's worth it. ;)

Hehehe... :)