Happy Happy~~

Alright. In case you people don't know, I'm now out of my emo days and I'm totally happy now. =)

Today is a fun day... Started with me waking up at 0:04am due to stomach ache and came out about forty minutes later. Mwahahahahahahahahaha~~~ XDDD

After that, I tried to sleep, but I couldn't, and so I turned on my laptop (which was just on top of my desk) and opened my Acoustica.

The day before, I was listening to Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah", which features 3Oh!3. (Weird names for both performers... ==) And straight after the song ended came Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance". And that gave me an idea when mixing my new song.

I spent about 1 hour or so mixing the song, and by 2.12am I went to bed. The song was still under process, and I'm now currently thinking of what should come next... sigh~

But I couldn't sleep and I remembered rolling on the bed until 3am before finally sleeping soundly...

I woke up mysteriously at around 4 or 6 am like that, and I continued sleeping until 9.27am before I finally woke up and took my shower before reaching Swinburne at 10.17am. Wee~

I was in the library with Andy until about 11.40am, before we went up to the Open Lab for our Facebooking session. Left at around 12.15pm for G Block because I had an SDC meeting about 15 minutes later. Met with Jude, and talked for a little while...

I finally (repeat: finally) have Evan's number (through Jude) and the meeting began at around 12.32pm. Melissa, Sin Chai, Evan & I were the only ones present in the room while Adeline & Jessie were eating their lunch. ==

The meeting wasn't anything actually... But, it's going to be an important event in SDC's calendar. The meeting ended at around 1pm, where I stayed with Adeline & Jessie until 1.24pm. (coz they wanted to practice their dance for a little while)

Went down to Manna Zone to have my lunch and saw Evan, Ivanna & Clement sitting there as well and we chatted while me and Clement ate. Oh, man. The Kampung Nasi Goreng is so freaking fulfilling!!! I even ordered a large cup of 100 Plus to further kill my stomach. Mwahahaha...

But! I am thankful of my fulfilling meal... =))))

At around 2.20pm, we went to the MPH to get ready for their practice. Ivanna had gone back, I assumed, coz I couldn't see her anymore after that. They started practice at around 2.40pm like that, and while waiting for them to come, I showed Evan & Clement the incomplete mix that I have done during midnight and they were impressed. Although... I don't really like how I mixed it... I mean... It does sound nice, but... I feel there will be a difficulty in choreographing the song.

Oh well, we'll see how things go. =)

After their practice, I went to Manna Zone again to buy a small container of Tauhu Hua for RM2.20. EXPENSIVE, if you ask me... But, I met with Sonia and we ate that container of Tau-hueh together and we split the bill. =P

And now, I'm with Sonia, and we're in the Open Lab... I'm still thinking of what song should come next after Britney's "3"... =\

lalalalalalala~~~ At least I'm no longer emo liao. =)

God

I believe that God treats me really well... I believe that He's the only one who truly understands what I needed and how I am feeling...

Whenever I'm sad, He'll make it rain in order to make me smile again. When I'm happy, the sun shines to an extent that it boils (almost). And whenever I'm about to do something, He'll more or less make sure that the road ahead of mine will be smoother than others. Whenever I ran out of ideas, He'll pop a few into my head, either through my friends or myself, allowing me to go on.

I appreciate your help. And I'm really thankful for it as well. =)

I'm not in the mood of socializing with anyone. I don't feel like talking and I don't feel like communicating face to face. And my credit is left with less than RM2. Which is a great thing to me coz I don't feel like texting anyone as well.

My texts no longer are full with "haha"s and "hehe"s. I don't feel like haha-ing when I'm obviously not in the mood to laugh.

I hope today will be the last day of me feeling down. I don't know why is it that she is being so influential... Sigh~

I shed tears when I heard Leona Lewis's "Homeless" just now... You can google the lyrics if you don't know what the song is about. I'll leave the discovering to you people. I'm out.

whatannoysme

isthatyouneverseemedtocareaboutme.Youlookedlikeasifyoudontlikemeasafriendeven.Idontknowwhy.Ithoughtifihungoutwithyoumoreyoulltendtonoticemebutno.Infact,youseemedtobeavoidingme.Ivekindaexpectedthistohappen,butnotthatsoon.AllIwannadoistobeclosetoyou.Maybeishouldfindandgetclosetoanothergirlinordertomakeyoujealous.Butwhatififailtomakeyoujealous?Whatifyoustartedtohateme?Butwhatifyoureallyarejealous?Doesthatmeanidohaveachance?Argh!Yourekillingmewithyourignorance!!!Butontheotherhand,youmademerealizethaticangetannoyedbyagirl.Youremyfirst.Andimissyoualot.Sigh~~

Today... Blueks.........

Today started off badly... and it progressed to be even worse than bad. ==

Lalalalalaz...

I'm not in the mood for anything now... It's just that I suddenly feel there's a feeling of insecurity eating my up... lolz...

Whatever lar... I think it's coz I didn't have enough good sleep last night...

I think I'll be okay tomorrow... =\

A really bad dream + trauma...

I've had two dreams that I can still remember (but not that much...) last night...

Let's talk about the first one first... It's an incomplete dream where I woke up suddenly from it...

It was a... grand type of dream... I've totally forgotten everything about it, but I remember dreaming about Adeline in a party (those high class, high class one...) and she was wearing her normal clothes and I asked her "Eh, you haven't change meh?"

Then she said, "Aiya, let you see lah..."

And then she turned 360 degrees and poof~ Her hair was pinned up in a glamorous style and she was wearing a beautiful black gown with really, really exaggerated huge... er... how do you call it?? You know, the part of the dress just beneath the waist? Yea, that part... It was really huge, and she was happy and pretty wearing that.

The gown was completely black in color, and there were thin, golden straps going around the neck, and she was wearing matching black gloves.

And then, suddenly, people began to notice Adeline. All those designers began to approach her and one man (who speaks like Miss Jay of America's Next Top Model) held the dress and said, "Oh, my! This is such a pretty dress! And the quality of the silk! It's unbelievable!"

And then, I woke up. It was 4.18am. ==

I told myself, "Aiya, two more hours or so and you'll have to wake up again... Go back to sleep lah..."

And... then comes my next dream. A bad one. A nightmare. =(

Two years ago, my house in Miri was broke into, and since then I have had a great trauma when it comes to my belongings being taken away from me. That time, nothing in my house was taken away (except for some of my belongings, together with something else... all the "expensive" stuff is still there)

In my dream... I was back in my Miri house together with my family. Mum was opening the door when I noticed something strange. I told them the air-conditioner isn't on (although it never is) and when looked, the alarm didn't go off. But I just had this bad feeling that something is wrong.

And so I dashed to the back of my house to discover that the window was open. And then I knew it was too late already. I opened the back door and from the front door, the sofa, the coffee table, the television and everything valuable is gone...

Even my dad's car model collection, the Ferraris and whatever car he has; they're gone... But... the strange thing is, the whole thing looks... too clean.

Meaning, there aren't any... how to say... you know, when you break into a person's house you need to like, search here and there for valuable things, right? But in my dream, it's all tidy and not messy at all.

It's like someone who knows the house inside out has done it.

When I thought of this part (in my dream), I was so afraid that I woke up. It was 7.45am. And I have a class at 8.30am. Right...

I brushed my teeth heavy-heartedly and walked to school while texting Jin about my dream. He told me that dreams are related to what we had, are, and will be going through. Some dreams are made because of what we've done in our previous lives...

Being a Buddhist, I know it's reasonable, but somehow, in my point of view, dreams are so that I will wake up from them...

Meaning, I always sleep. And dreams appear in my sleep so that I will wake up on time. That's what I think lah... Bcz I always wake up from my dreams. HAHAHA... XD

Sigh~ Whatever lah... I hope my house is safe and sound... No more thieves, please... =(

Something Random but funny... XDD

Okay, here's the thing. Just now I was tweeting in Twitter that "Physics is a bitch. =("

And then, Han, my friend, twitted, "Son of a b**** Maths is."

Then I replied, "I never knew Maths is Physics's son..."

HAHAHAH!! Get it?? Coz I said Physics is a bitch, and Han said Maths is Son of a Bitch.

Then it means Physics is Maths' mum! XD

Then I asked, "But who is Physics's husband? Math's dad??"

And Han said Chemistry. HAHAHA

XD

Alright, this is so totally random... But I laughed out loud... XD

SDC's performance~

Today I went to SDC (Swinburne Dance Club)'s practice for their upcoming performance in the MPH on 1st April, 2010.

I'm not a performer for that show, but I still went to help out as a member of the team. It's the only time in my life in a Swinburne club that I know I'm worth doing something. ;)

I love SDC!!! =D

Alright. So here's what happened today.

Evan taught Jessie, Sin Chai, Zhe Yii, Clement & Melissa another 16 beats of routine. Adeline was late because she had to attend her former school, SMK Jalan Arang's Sports Day. She arrived at around 3.20pm with two packets of food which would be my dinner tonight. hahahaha... Thanks, Adel~ =)

After Adeline arrived, Evan spent about 5 minutes teaching Adeline the routine. And they got serious.

I've seen a lot of improvements coming out of all of the dancers, and I dare say they've put in a lot of effort and energy into it...

I hope their performance will soar up the sky~ =)

Go Dance Club!!!! =D

Another Troublemaker...

Today I discovered another troublemaker in my blog...

Another person who chose to comment on my posts anonymously. Basically, there isn't anything wrong with doing so, but what annoyed me was that the person was insulting me. ==

And yea, I still get annoyed like I always do (coz that's in my traits to do so...), but unlike last time, I'm not going to spend my energy, time or anything going into a frustration over such lowlife people. It's useless to react to these juvenile acts done by COWARDS who dare to bullshit people but doesn't dare to let people know who he is.

And one more thing I find quite funny, actually... The comment that he had posted about isn't in my recent posts, but is in a post which I wrote last September. Ha. What does that mean? It means someone is actually willing enough to read through my old posts in my blog, and that also means this person is a stalker who is stalking on me. HA! Whatever~

Well, the reason I'm posting this is because I want to say something to whomever that will be giving me shitty comments... And that is:

"You can save your effort in trying to bring me down, coz I'm not going to get affected by you."

If you really want to badtalk about me, I'd prefer you saying it to me face to face. Worthless JUNK like you will never stand a chance in hurting me. Coz I strongly believe, what goes around, comes around. People will do to you what you have done to me. And, I hope when that happens, you will be strong enough to face it. =)

Tata~

Music gets the best of me...

Music can heal. I believe that...

But... sometimes I'm just so sick of listening to the same music again and again... And that's why I mix them around so that I can have something fresh to listen to... Besides, it also means that I'm the only person in this world who would have what I have mixed. Unless if I spread it around, of course...

I love mixing things up... It allows you to be creative and as a perfectionist like myself, I think it's good for me to get the "best" remix that I could make...

Well, I was really really tired last night and I began to think... silly. I was so abnormal that I didn't really know who I was anymore. Lolz...

I went back home really early last night and slept at around 8 something. Woke up at ten to ten, and felt the urge to continue my mix that I have done halfway in the library that afternoon. After mixing around, I was satisfied with what I have done, and I decided to go back to sleep.

But I couldn't. I kept rolling around the hard like stone mattress, thinking about something and someone. I finally managed to sleep at 12 something midnight, but I woke up at 2.10am. I don't know why, but something told me that it was morning already and so I quickly opened my eyes. And was cheated by my own intuition... ==

I need to regain my "perfect" senses... hehehe

I went to sleep again shortly after waking up, and guess what? I woke up at 4.20am again... 2 hours and 10 minutes later. HAHA! And yea, although I have just woken up, I still have the time to look at the time. =P

Again, I went back to sleep. AND! Again! I woke up 2 hours later, at 6.23am. Then, 7 minutes later, my alarm went off. I turned it off and went back to sleep... Half an hour later, my other phone's alarm went off again and I decided to slack a little bit more.

Finally woke up at 7 something am, and got ready to go to Swinburne...

As I walked along the street, I saw a dead dog... =(

It was lying on the ground, and blood came out from its mouth... It saddened me to see that... No one seemed to care what happened to it... =((

Although I have dogs barking at me every night when I went home (besides the times when I go back at 10pm, where there are miraculously dogless...), I don't hate them. Instead, I was really, really, depressed at the uncared dog... I remember smiling and singing to whatever song that was playing in my phone that time, but after I saw that corpse I was down again...

Reached Swinburne at around 8 something. Went to the Open Lab and discovered that the computers couldn't connect to the Internet and so I used my own laptop to check my timetable (I still haven't print bah... Besides, printing it is a total waste of money, time and paper) and saw Rocky, Duckie, Samson & Jia Ming.

When it reached 8.28am, Duckie, Rocky and I went to our classes and Andy was already in my class when I reached class.... And the class was full of people. O.o

The lecturer, to whom my seniors (who are just a semester ahead of me) call "good", was writing the answers to the questions that we have done yesterday. Some of the answers were even wrong. ==

EMB went by slowly, and I walked to the bank to settle my tuition fee. It was also my first time withdrawing RM20 from the counter. The people there must have thought something was wrong with me. ==

After that, I walked back to Swinburne and finally settled with my tuition fee. And gosh! The SIC is full with people!!! O.o

And so I decided to update my Student ID some other day... perhaps tomorrow. If I remember or if I'm hardworking enough. ==

After settling my tuition fee, I was on my way to the library when I saw Rocky & Elmer. I followed them to the Manna Zone and texted Adeline that we were there. I was doing the normal stuff where I sat on a table while waiting for them to arrive. Gosh. You WON'T believe the people you'll see in the Open Dining... It was beyond full... Everyone was finding a place to sit... And I felt kinda bad rejecting some of my friends because the seats were "booked" for Adeline, Jin, Jessie and Ambrose (and whoever that has tagged along).

Melissa & Sin Chai joined me, Carlson & Crystal at about 12pm, because they couldn't find a seat. (Priority to SDC members... =P) When it was 12.20pm the crowd increased again in amount... I could barely see the lobby entrance anymore as my vision was blocked by tonnes and tonnes of people... ==

I sighed in relief when Jessie's face suddenly appeared in the crowd. But because Sin Chai's boyfriend, Joseph (so called "Joe" by his peers), Crystal & Carlson had tagged along, Jin & Ambrose had to sit somewhere else. I'm sorry, guys... =(

Eventually, they went out to have their lunch. O.o

I bought a packet of overpriced Nasi Lemak, and ate it. But I still feel hungry... ==

Lolz...

After lunch, Jessie, Adeline, Carlson & I went to the library to do our homework. *Ahem Ahem* I mean only Jessie, Adeline & I did our homework. Carlson was busy being a pig (meaning, he's sleeping). Jin & Ambrose joined us soon after that and we stayed there until 4pm~~ =D

And now I'm in the B block Open Lab... typing this... hehehe

=P

Oh yea... this post was supposed to have something to do with music... but it turns out I have updated what I've done today instead... ==l|

ha. ha. =P

I hope I can be happy like today again... Minus the corpse and the crowd. ==

You, yourself and I

There's one thing that I believe wholeheartedly in. And that is...

No one in this world knows you better than you yourself.

Do you agree??

You're the first person to know that you'll be angry, and you're the only one who truly understands why you did something. You're the only one you could talk to when all your friends are nowhere to be found. You're the only one who'll never betray your own trust.

And so. It's very important to be the bestest of the bestest friends with yourself... Because, at the end of it all, when something bad happens, if no one else understands you, you still have yourself to talk to.

And it's not a crazy thing talking to yourself (although it appears to be)... It just means that you're communicating with yourself and that's something people don't normally do... They don't get why they're angry and they have no one to talk to when they're sad and when they're all alone.

I can say proudly that I'm good friends with myself and that I know myself very well... But, being a human, I still don't understand why I did something... Like... being emo all of a sudden for no apparent reason... ==

I'm still finding the answer. I hope you guys can get yours too someday. =)

Lalalaz...

I'm so freaking tired...

I don't know why... Maybe it's coz I have woken up super early today (compared with my normal times...) at 7.00am. Took me about 30 minutes to get ready for my first day in Swinburne, third semester...

Reached Swinburne just ten short minutes before eight, and saw Rocky & Duckie in the Open Lab where I checked my timetable. (coz I donno where my class is...) Didn't interact with them coz I had my earpiece on. I'm super lazy to get them on and off everytime someone speaks to me. ==

And... about 8.20am, Carlson sent me a text asking me to accompany him to his class. Gosh, I felt like his parent when I did so... hehehe... =P

And, because of him, I'm two minutes late for my class. Right. And the look of my lecturer's face wasn't really that pleasant... O.o

Today we recapped a little bit what "Differentiation" is... And... I speak a lot in class... Both to Andy, my friend who sits next to me in class, and when the lecturer asks questions. The other students must think I'm some sort of annoying SOAB but like I care. =P

After class, I went to Manna Zone, coz Carlson asked me to. I arrived a few minutes before him, and saw Amy. We turned around and saw Jude & Carl coming out of G Block lobby, and so we waited them to come over and have a seat.

We saw Daniel & Chloe sitting in one of the tables there. We placed our belongings around and they went to order their food. Since I'm waiting for Jin, Adeline, Jessie and the others to finish their class at 12.30pm, I chose not to eat first although my tummy was grumbling then... But, after drinking the Iced Lemon Tea that I had brought into class today, I wasn't that hungry anymore...

I sat there, at the table, listening to them talking. Wilson & Ivanna stopped by after Chloe called Wilson, and they talked for awhile until Wilson had to attend class. Jin, Jessie, Adeline, Alvin, Boon Han & Ambrose arrived at Manna Zone at around 12 something, but there wasn't anymore space left for them because Jude, Daniel, Chloe & Ivanna were still sitting around. But after Adeline & Jessie had ordered their food, Jude they all finally left the table and we sat down in the same table... All the seven of us.

Adeline and Jessie's food came first, and they finished first as well, automatically. About 10 or 20 minutes later, we wondered what happened to our food because it hasn't arrived. Alvin & Boon Han went to ask the tauke, and we were informed that someone else has eaten our share by pretending to be us. (It's a really messed up situation in Manna Zone... There are students everywhere since the Cafeteria is closed down)

Finally, our food came. Jin & I kept shoving the bowl to each other, asking each other to eat first. LOLZ! Finally, I gave in and began eating my Chicken Mushroom Noodle... It was... too oily. ==

Jin's share is so dry... And Alvin's is so wet... == Wth?? XD

Not too long before our food had arrived, Crystal came and joined us for lunch. After our food came, Crystal's food still hasn't arrived... ==

It was already closing to 1pm... Jin and the others had wanted to go to the library first to do their stuff. And so it was left with me and Crystal. Coz I can't just leave her there alone in Manna Zone, right? Since I was the one who had asked her to come join us. lolz...

After Crystal had finished her laksa, she said she wanted to follow me to the library despite her class going to start really soon (like, in 10 minutes). On the way to the library, we saw Mey Sien and she brought Crystal away to the Lecture Theatre, the place the Degree in Multimedia/Design students would have their lecture in that time...

I went to the library then, and sat down beside Adeline at the table. I took out my EMB exercise that I hadn't finish since morning, and finished it after referring back to my notes. Got a little bored, coz they were still doing their work while I'm done.

And so I played my PSP until it was their turn to have their lecture in the Lecture Theatre. I was about to go to the Open Lab when I saw Natalie, Crystal, Norman, Mey Sien & Ivy at the corridor. Mey Sien & Ivy said they wanted to go print something and wouldn't come back to Swinburne anymore, and so I didn't follow them.

Finally, Crystal, Natalie, Norman and I went to the library. Again.

I wanted to play Pet Society, but something happened, and I became moodless. Tried editing some songs and I did manage to edit a bit, but there was some part which I wasn't really satisfied with, and so I wanted to ask Christine's opinion, but she was already back home and so I couldn't ask her loh...

Then... After everyone has left, I came to the Open Lab, which is where I am right now...

Gosh... I'm so sleepy... T__________T

hahaha...

Tomorrow I'll be having class again at 8.30am... Walao~~

And then, I heard Jin saying we'll play badminton again this upcoming Friday~~ Wee!! I'm so happy!!! I wanna workout!!! =D

Lalalalala...

That's it for now lah.. so tired... so bored as well...

*I miss you*

I Love Today~ =D

Did I mention that I'm happy today? hahaha...

I woke up from a nightmare and went to school early... then... felt so sleepy...

Was online until around 12pm, when I walked to Adeline, Jessie & Jin, who were also in the library with me, but we sat quite far away from each other... hehehe... They were going out for lunch, a big group of them, but I didn't join because I had Leo Club meeting at 12.30pm... I don't think they could finish their lunch in 30 minutes and get back in time, so I didn't join loh~~ haha

The meeting was... awkward... So little people turned up... And we only started at 1pm... ==

The meeting was short as well... haha... Finished at around 1.30pm, but left at around 1.40pm... haha...

When I was outside the lift I remembered that I haven't taken my result certificate yet and so I went to 1st Floor to take it loh... Took the stairs because Leo Club meeting was at 4th Floor. haha

After taking my result slip I walked down to the lobby and was on my way to Manna Zone to have my lunch when I heard someone calling my name... It was Adeline~ =D

They were going to have their Dance Club practice soon, but the venue was unconfirmed... and so I told Adeline to inform me of the venue while I went to have my lunch loh... haha... =D

As I had my lunch Adeline told me they would be practicing on 7th floor and so after my dinner I dashed up there... haha... They were already started their practice, and so I just sat aside, watching them...

While they were practicing a security guard came to us and told us that the music that we were playing was too loud for the office below us, on 6th floor, and the guard told us to move away or else we'll be complained... ==

Seeing the Student Lounge as the only available place to go, we went there despite knowing that people will know what we are doing... =\

Coz, the event is supposed to be on April 1st, (confirmed or not I still donno.. hehehe) and so they were practicing their butts off... They were really hardworking!!! =)

I wish I could perform one day as well... hehehe... ;P

Anyway, the student lounge wasn't really a good place to practice because, well, everyone can see what we are doing... and secondly, there were other people doing their homework in the Student Lounge and so we couldn't play the music too loud or else we'll get complaints... ==

They practiced around until 5pm like that and went home while I stayed in the library until just now, around 7+pm...

And now I'm in CP, and I have just finished my dinner... And now I'm typing my blog. haha... =D

I'm going to the Open Lab soon, seeing CP isn't really a good place to go online... hahaha

If by 9pm Pet Society is still under maintenance, then I'm heading home... The place I stay isn't really a safe place to walk at night... =\

I had a bad experience where last night as I was walking back there were three dogs barking at me... and they looked like they were about to bite me... =S

Luckily there was a car which came just in time and horned at those dogs... With their attention carried away, I took my chance to slip away while thanking that driver in my heart... ;)

hahaha...

Tomorrow they will have dance practice again... I will wake up early to go Swinburne to go online loh... hehehe... Then, when the time comes, I will help Evan and the others play and pause the music again..... hehehe... =)

I love today. :)

If we were in The Sims, We would have ++ for our social relation today... =)

Yup yup!

I'm actually quite happy today...

Well, I've finally managed to talk to Evan, and like my title says, if we're on The Sims, we would have gained a lot of ++s for our relationship... =)

Dancing can really bring people together... Just like music... hehe... Coz dancing is a way to express ourselves, and I'm happy that we two are able to somehow connect through dancing...

Wee~ If this goes good enough, we'll be good friends soon enough~ =)

Making friends is so cool... hahaha... :D

Night/Daymares...

Hm... I'm having consistent nightmares ever since I came back to Kuching...

Every night I sleep I will wake up with my heart throbbing. The first night was okay, the second was... not that much. The third night, I don't remember dreaming anything, but last night, which is when I woke up today, it felt so surreal and well, real... =(

The dream started in a news.

The television shows a rocking image where a boat was facing some sort of huge error and the captain of the boat has fled the passengers, saving himself first. The other passengers (they were all men) and they had the "I'm-sorry-my-dearest-I-am-not-able-to-come-home-already-tonight" type of look on their face.

The reporter reports that the passengers (or just one of them) might need to break the windshield glass of the boat (I think it's that type of cruise-y speed boat... donno why... don't ask. It's just a dream... ==) in order to do something which I think is practically impossible and worthless.

I don't really remember what the function of breaking the glass is, but I know breaking it will only cause us to die because the boat was rocking really, really hard and water is everywhere (outside the boat)... If we break open the glass, doesn't that mean we're drowning ourselves? ==

Anyway, someone has actually managed to stick a long arrow (which I assume to be the hunting type... you know, to shoot those sea animals or something? O.o) in the sea bed (I think it's sea... coz I don't see any land nearby) and since the boat was rocking hard, the arrow keeps making contact with the windshield glass and eventually, the pointed end of the arrow pierced through the glass and I remember everyone cheering.

It was a joyous moment, but the man who helped set up the arrow thingy was being thrown away by the great wind and the huge waves... I remember shouting for him as I saw him disappear in front of me.

And then... miraculously, the boat was now rocking towards a truck. I know... all the huge water waves are gone, and I can now see trees on either side of the "road". ==

Anyway, there are still some strong current on the floor of the boat, and so the current was strong enough to rock us towards the slow-driving truck.

I remember shouting, "We need to get out of this boat!"

And the people around me seemed to doubt my thoughts. ==

Don't know why, but suddenly after that, I am driving a big vehicle... I think it's another truck, but it's also very bus-like... =S (It's just a dream...) And now I am driving that big bus-truck and I have arrived at the immigration. All the water is finally gone, and I can't remember being happy about it... Instead, I was still shocked at the fact that the man has disappeared right in front of me. =S

The immigration officer told me to get out of the bus-truck, and he questioned me something and I asked, "Where are we now?"

He answered, "We're in Murut." (I don't know if there's a place named Murut at all, but that was what that man told me.) He then continued to ask, "How are you feeling?"

I replied, "I'm just glad that I'm still alive..."

The officer nodded and I got back into the bus-truck. I didn't drive for a long time and suddenly I was at the back of the truck, crying, hugging my legs... The truck was moving, and I suppose someone else has taken over my place as the driver.

The dream then skipped itself and it was revealed that the driver is my dad instead. I have never been so happy in seeing my dad before... (even when I'm back in Brunei, the most I did was smile at him) So much that I have actually hugged him in tears....

And that was when I woke up. =S

Gee... what a strange dream... Luckily I can still remember most of it... And to you readers, don't think that I'm crazy (although I might be), but this is all just a dream... =P

Gah... I wonder what type of dream am I going to get next? O.o

I don't wanna be...

A blabbermouth anymore... It sucks actually... Sigh... Well, the thing about me is that I talk too much at times... I sometimes speak when I don't need to, and I do pretend that I know something when I don't really know what is going on. ==

And so, from now on, I will talk less and I won't be so kepo anymore. I won't ask around if someone or something has happened, and I will just keep quiet even though my heart is aching to know what is going on. I think this is better... The less I know, the freer I get. =)

HAHA

lalala.. Not gonna say this out in Facebook though... I don't want to be pressurized by all the people in my friends' list who really think I can do it... I want to wait till they notice that I have changed... What for telling people when they aren't listening, right? =|

Lolz~ watever lah... We'll see what happens in the end... :)

What is "love" to me? (I gotta feeling that this is going to be one heck of a long post...)

Have you ever wondered what "love" is to you?

Have you really been in love before in your life then?

Do you really understand what love is?

Different people have different definitions to love. Some people will think they are in love as long as they can see their lover all day and all night long. Some will be happy as long as their partner is happy. Some may think by having more than one partner, then he/she will be able to compare who loves him/her more. And from there, he/she will be able to love that person even more.

To me, love is about sacrifice. I believe a person is truly loved if his/her other half is willing enough to sacrifice his/her time, money and energy on this person. I believe the way a person is loved can help bring the better out of the other half. Meaning to say, if A loves B whole heartedly, then A will be loved whole heartedly as well. In fact, A will receive even more love than the love that he has poured out on B.

In my opinion, and through my experiences, I have never been in love before. Because, to tell the truth, I am never strong enough to say I'm willing to sacrifice my everything just for my other half. When this happens, you can only call it a "crush" instead. Why is it called a "crush", by the way?

I think, in my own definition, a "crush" is a person whom you like, but will "crush" your heart because the two of you will not be together in the end. A "crush" is just like any other people that you see everyday. They don't really stand out in the crowd. Or maybe they do.

Am I confusing you? I apologize beforehand then...

Let's continue.

I have always thought I am willing enough to sacrifice my soul for that particular "crush", but I am always wrong. This person that I like will always turn out to be a wrong choice. Or maybe that person is good enough for me, but I don't think I'm good enough for her. Maybe if you don't have the courage to go after that girl, you aren't considered to have loved her enough. If you love one person, you WILL want that person to know, right?

I mean, what's the use of keeping silent when you should be brave enough to let that person know you love him/her, right? There's nothing wrong with letting people know that you adore them. But maybe it's just the fear of rejection that got in your way...

Or maybe, your intuition is silently telling you that this person is not going to make you happy. And so the conflict between your intuition and your heart results in your lack of courage to express your love.

It might sound ridiculous, but something just tells me that I'm right. =)

Once you have told that person that you like him/her... What's next?

What if... the person to whom you've expressed your love doesn't like you back? What do you do then?

From here, you have two options:

1) Be a persistent bug and bug her until she likes you

2) Go after another one.

From 1), you have two characteristics:

a) You are very annoying.

b) You really do love that person.

From 2), you have three other characteristics:

a) You don't love her enough and you give up easily.

b) You're just playing with your heart.

c) You seriously think that person is not right for you.

But what if you fail to persuade her to love you in 1a)?

Don't you think you need a little bit more patience?

Sometimes a girl (I don't know about boys, coz I don't date them... ==) prefers men to be interested in her by pretending to be oblivious about you. (I think I learnt this from G Force...) But that doesn't mean you should just give up that easily... Sometimes a girl may tell you that she doesn't like you, but in her heart she's crazy about you.

Sometimes a girl really meant it when she told you that she doesn't like you, but be aware of how she says it...

3) Her attitude is all bitchy and all that...

4) She speaks to you in a friendly way.

From 3), you can deduce that...

a) She really is a bitch. So why do you still love her? Are you a bitch yourself?

b) You really can't be compatible with this type of person... Unless you are looking for a bitchy person as your lover... then, good luck to you. =)

From 4), you can deduce that...

a) Maybe she's just pretending that she doesn't like you.

b) Maybe she really doesn't like you. But you two can still be friends, right? =0)

But what if... You've told a girl that you like her, but she has no reaction whatsoever? o.O

5) This girl doesn't know the good in you... Go back to 2c)

6) Go back to 4a)

7) Maybe she thinks you're joking with her? ==

8) She doesn't like you, but she doesn't want to hurt you.

From 8), you can ask for one thing.

a) Ask her to speak her mind. Be it if it will hurt you, but it's better than not knowing anything and continue to fall blindly...

Sometimes love is a ridiculous thing, don't you think?

It's sometimes shown in those television series or books... You like a person, but after you don't like that person, he/she comes and tell you that he/she likes you instead. And after that, he/she will either hate you or make you love him/her again. ==

And it will all lead to even more drama... ==

If there is love, there will be hate. What if someone hates you?

Hate, to me, is a strong feeling of dislike towards someone. Hate occurs when a person cares about another, but is oblivious and ignorant about it. Well, frankly speaking, if you don't care about that person, why hate him/her, right?

Hate is the opposite of love. It's either you love that person or you hate them. Or you can be classified in the love-hate relationship... Where you hate this person but you love him/her at the same time as well... There's also a "neutral", where you don't love and you don't hate this person. But frankly speaking, there will always be one of them...(either love or hate I mean)

So, if you really think you hate someone, think again... Do you spend some time hating him/her every once in a while? Think again... Is it because you are thinking of that person? Do you hate him/her because you can't see him/her? And when you see him/her, and when your hatred comes urging up... Is it because you want to get close to him/her, but you are AFRAID of doing so instead?

I don't think there's actually someone who'll hate another wholeheartedly... Maybe it's just because they are afraid to get close with them... Well, that's just my opinion... :)

Hehehe... I know there are lots of people "hating" me, but I don't blame them... They're only missing me. :)

HAHAHA!!!

Alright, I'll speak up till here... I'll continue again next time... ;)

I had a dream...

Last night I had a silly but sweet dream...

In the dream, I was standing nearby Evan, an acquaintance of mine. He was playing around with a girl, and suddenly I heard a splash and Evan suddenly had his hands near his eyes and his body was arched at an angle where I couldn't even see his face. The girl was horrified by what happened, and I could hear Evan grunting.

Then, for unknown reasons, I suddenly know what happened to Evan and I brought him to the shopping market which is just behind the girl. I heard the girl asking Evan what's wrong, and I remember that I was shouting to that girl, "His contact (lenses), you dumbass!"

And that girl replied, "Dumbass? Do you know who you're calling a dumbass?!"

But I ignored her and I brought Evan to look for a substitute pair of contact lenses. He was grunting all along, and I was so freaked out at that time.

When I have finally found the contact lenses, he opened it and began changing his contacts. After that, we walked to the cashier and he paid for the contact lenses.

And after that, we became friends. =)

hehehehehe... How I wish I can be friends with Evan one day. ;)

Updates...

Today's my second day back in Kuching... Have met with almost all of my friends that I've made... hahahaha... XD

Life without home is... suffocating, but it is, on the other hand, a challenge for me. I think it's a task that I have to complete before I can completely call myself a "man". Right... what the heck am I talking about? ==

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Gah... just some random posts...

Oh yea... speaking of "Gah", it reminds me of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" opening... And that reminds me of Lady Gaga's new song, "Telephone", which features Beyonce...

The song is awesome, but the video is super dull... In my opinion, of course... I don't fancy it... Something about the video just spoils the song...

According to one of the comments about the video in Youtube, the video for "Telephone" is a continuation of her previous video, "Paparazzi"...

In "Paparazzi", after killing her boyfriend, Gaga is sent to jail at the beginning of "Telephone". And Beyonce bails Gaga out, and they kill another man. Or shall I say, the whole diner. And they fled under the scope of the police. And this whole thing takes about 9 minutes...

Lalalallalaa... Super dull to me... I was hoping that Gaga would be dancing in a dark club and probably she'll have a dancing face-off with Beyonce when she was introduced in the track... lalallaa... I guess it's too late for any changes, right?

The only hope that my vision can be real is that someone re-sings the song, and I'm the director of that video... HAHAHA... AS IF! XD

lallalala... Currently in the library of Swinburne... the place that I am staying in has no internet access and so I have to come to Swinburne everytime in order to surf the net... ==

Oh yea... speaking of surfing the net, Mediafire is blocked!!! ARGH!!!

All the videos, songs and albums that I wanna download!!! Grr.... ==

Well... I guess this is a way to stop myself from downloading too many stuff and neglects my studies... hehehe

=)

I'm only taking EMB this semester, and so I must work hard in order to get a HD... I must at least get another HD for my foundation!!! ==

HAHAHA...

Alright, alright... enough blabbing... time for me to go before I bore you guys to death... hehehe

=)

It's March!

Wow... before I know it, it's March already! And... I really haven't been blogging AT ALL ever since my previous 13 posts... hahahaha

XD

Sorry, guys...

Right now, as I'm typing, I'm listening to Super Junior's "Sorry, Sorry"...

Hmm... The song was released about one year ago... and I only liked it NOW! HAHAHAHA!!! So silly of me... XP

The song is catchy, alright... and... I wouldn't have give it a listen if it wasn't for the parody that Jude have linked in Facebook... hehehe

But... the thing is that I can't view the video, for unknown reasons... After the video reached 34 seconds, the video stops on its own and I can't see anything anymore... After various attempts of refreshing the page, still the same thing happens... Grr... hahahaha

And... to make things worse, I can't even find the video in Youtube... which makes that video exclusively in Facebook... hahaha

XD

Speaking of videos, I'm planning on inserting the wallpapers that I have edited over the holiday into a video (with song of course) and I'll upload it in Facebook & Youtube one day... hehehe... =)

But now, I'll have to slack a bit first... Coz... right now don't have the mood to edit pictures... hahaha... XD

It's March!!! That means I'll have to make a new header, but I'll just select one of my edits as a wallpaper because I'm just that lazy... hahahahahahaha... XD

Forgive me, people, but I'm kinda saving my energy for my new starting semester! hahahaha... =D

And yes, that means I'm going back to Kuching soon! CAN'T WAIT!!! =D

hehehe... :)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

Blah Gah Gah!!! That song is stuck in my head now... ==

HAHAHAHA

XD

An Extravagant Gift...

Lili : I've done a little research on you. How did you get yourself into such a predicament?

Lars : I'll tell you if I live long enough to remember...

Lili : Well, I'd love to stick around and help, but they need me back home... I never did get to face Asuka Kazama... c'est la vie~

Lars : Sounds like you've got some trouble of your own... So, are you sure we can keep that?

Lili : Somebody gave it to me, but I can't stand that thing... Oh, it's hideous... So, now I'm giving it to you!

Lars : Well, I'm sure whoever picked it out won't mind... It's going to a good cause.

Lili : Well, time to go. Make sure you finish Jin Kazama... or else, I'll kill you...

Lars : Jin Kazama, huh? I'll try not to let you down... *to Alisa* C'mon...

Alisa : All right.

Above is a conversation between Lili and Lars in Scenario Campaign of Tekken 6. Oh, I love Lili!!! =D

hehehe... Enjoy this video~ =)